


Sleeping Beauty

by awkwardphoenix



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Coming Out, Fluffy, Gay, M/M, Post-Canon, literally just a fic where everyone makes amends, v gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 12:00:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16786558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardphoenix/pseuds/awkwardphoenix
Summary: (This is my first EVER completed/published fanfic, so I hope you like it.)After his death, Peter's sad, and confused, and he doesn't know what to do without Jason. He misses him so much. He tries making his life better, even comes out to his mom, but without Jason it feels like there's a hole in his life that can't be filled.Until he finds out Jason's not dead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy! I hope you like this, because I've never really done this before. It has the potential for more chapters if y'all like it. Let me know in the comments or something. Or my tumblr (awkward-phoenix). Also, let me know if there are any mistakes or if I can improve anything, because I didn't proofread it. (Don't judge me for that.) Ahhhh! Enjoy!

**Peter**

Peter is the only one left.

One voice.

One life.

At least, without Jason, that’s what it feels like.

Of course, Nadia tries to comfort him. Keyword: tries. Nadia’s not doing so well herself. Jason was her brother. She is trying to be so positive though. She went through graduation, leaving a chair next to her for her brother.

Matt… Peter can’t tell what Matt’s feeling. Like Peter, Matt’s clearly questioning everything he said or did to Jason. He just seems so confused. About himself and what he did. 

Ivy’s really pregnant now. And Peter doesn’t think she really wants this baby. She seems sad and sometimes, Peter catches her staring blankly into the air. He wonders what’s going on in her pretty little head. Is she sad about Jason’s death? He did fuck her over. Literally. But she was in love with him. Maybe just as much as Peter was. 

Peter hasn’t talked to Lucas. Not since Jason… not since he….

Lucas killed Jason. Peter knows he didn’t mean to… but he gave Jason the GHB. Lucas allowed it to happen even though he knew Jason was in a bad place. 

Peter doesn’t know how Lucas feels about Jason’s death, but he hopes he feels guilty.

As for Father, Peter is unsure. He knows Father regrets the death of Jason, but he isn’t sure he regrets what he said to him. Peter kind of regrets telling Father he forgives him. Peter doesn’t know that he does forgive him. Father gave Jason the wrong word. If only Jason had gone to Sister Chantelle, or Sister Chantelle had noticed something with Jason like she had with Peter. As she had said, God don’t make no trash. Jason should have known that too.

God. Peter missed Jason so much.

**Jason**

Pitch black. Chest empty, breaths stopped. Jason can’t talk. He can’t see. Where is he?

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Jason doesn’t know what that sound is. But it reminds him of when his alarm would go off in St. Cecilia’s, and then he’d get up and walk over to Peter’s bed and cuddle with him before the day started. He missed Peter. Where was Peter?

What happened to St. Cecilia’s? He couldn’t remember graduation, even though he knew he should have graduated by now. His memory seemed like it had been wiped of everything that happened after Ivy told him…

God. Ivy. What a mess. He should never have led her on in the first place. If he’d have just told her right from her birthday that he didn’t feel anything for her, none of this would have happened. 

Jason wished he could feel something for Ivy. He loves Peter but he… he wished he didn’t. Even Father, someone who is supposed to make him feel okay, told him outright that he wasn’t. Because he was… he was…

_ Never spoken, always heard. _

_ Answer me! Am I okay?! _

__ _ NO! _

Jason wishes he could move. And see. He wants to know where he is. He wants to know where Peter is.

**Peter**

Peter remembers that Jason’s parents weren’t at his funeral. Maybe they’re mad at Jason for the… drug overdose.

How can you be mad at someone who’s dead, though? 

Now that Peter’s graduated, he’s back living with his mom, who’s kind of mad that Peter decided to go to Berkeley instead of Notre Dame at the end of the summer. But she can’t be that mad at him. She knows that Jason’s dead.

Peter still doesn’t know how his mom feels about his sexuality. He hasn’t tried coming out to her again since the failed phone call back at St. Cecilia’s. He knows she knows, though. And he actually might try again, pretty soon. Just so that he can actually get the message across. He thinks that she might be more… understanding this time. After Jason. 

Sure, the only reason he was even  _ sent  _ to Catholic school is because of his, uh, femininity, but it’s been years now. She can’t send him to another Catholic high school. He’s an adult, and she is too, so they need to handle this like adults.

Maybe he’ll just try again now.

**Jason**

Sometimes, Jason feels like he hears voices. He can’t make any distinctions. He can’t even tell the difference between male or female. But he hears murmurs. Along with that constant  _ Beep. Beep. Beep. _

**Peter**

“Hey, uh, Mom?” Peter says, calling from the couch. “Can you come here a sec?”

“Of course, Peter. What is it?” Claire says, a broad smile upon her face.

“It’s about St. Cecilia’s. Do you remember that time I tried to call you and you said you’d call again?”

Claire pauses and purses her lips before speaking. “I do.”

“You never called again. So I just want to tell you now what I was going to say.”

**Claire**

Claire sits with her son, her smile slowly fading from her face. She knows what he’s about to say, and this time she can’t make excuses to get out of it.

_ Where was the warning? _

A million thoughts run through her head. How can she fix this? How can she stop this? What can she do to help him off this dark path?

But she looks at her son, and she sees the fear in his eyes. And she sees that he is afraid of her. Claire can’t stand this. She doesn’t want her son to be afraid of her, of telling her things. 

Peter is her son. And she loves him. And nothing can ever change that. She will always love him. Claire will have to learn to live with this in her life. She knows she can’t change him because she’s tried.

Claire takes a slow, deep breath that she hopes Peter doesn’t notice through his eyes clouded with worry. Peter takes a deep breath himself.

**Peter**

“Mom. I loved Jason.” As Peter says this, he waits for his mom to flinch at the word, to say something in horror, but she doesn’t. So Peter goes on.

“Um. He… he helped me find my place in the world, and find who I am. And even if who I am isn’t who you want me to be, you can’t change that.” Peter thinks he sees his mom nod slightly as she stares into the ground. Her eyes don’t reach Peter’s, but Peter knows she hears him.

“And…” Peter goes on, “Who I am is… gay.” Peter can feel his whole body shaking as he says this. He’s never said this to another human being in his life. Not even Jason. 

Peter has nothing else to say. He watches his mom’s breaths, and as she blinks slowly, she looks up at him. 

_ See me. _

Claire takes Peter’s hand in hers, and Peter can see his mother’s heart breaking at his trembling fingers.

“Thank you for telling me,” says Claire, tears threatening at her eyes. This takes a second for Peter to process. This was certainly not the reaction he was expecting. 

“I knew. For a long time. You were right, I didn’t want to see you. But I do now. I still don’t entirely understand your feelings, and I’m not sure I ever will. But I love you, Peter, and nothing can change that.” Claire smiles, and the tears fall freely.

Peter can’t stop his eyes from welling up, either, and soon enough he’s full on sobbing as he hugs his mother in his shaking arms. 

They hug for so long that he soaks his mom’s shirt with tears, and when they part he’s still crying but now he’s smiling, too. 

Peter then feels his phone buzz in his pocket, and he’s confused because nobody ever calls him other than his mother. He brings out his phone and it’s Nadia.

He furrows his brow and excuses himself from his mother, then goes into his room and shuts the door before answering the phone.

“Nadia?”

“Peter,” Nadia says over the phone, her voice breathy and wet. “I need to tell you something. That my parents were, somehow, keeping from me since graduation.” Nadia’s bitterness reads clearly through the call, and Peter is curious now, because even though they were friends, Nadia never really called Peter.

“What is it?”

“It’s about Jason.” 

Peter’s breath catches in his throat. 

“Jason?”

“He’s not dead.”

Peter doesn’t say anything, because he can’t, because he physically cannot say anything at all. He drops the phone and sinks to the floor.

“Peter?” says the muffled Nadia, the phone speakers facing the ground. “Hey, Peter, I know this is a shock, but I’m kind of on my way to your house to take you to the hospital to see him.”

**Nadia**

Hands on the steering wheel of her car, Nadia speeds her way to Peter’s house. To anyone else, it might be a bit stalker-y that she tracked down his address, but she’d do anything for love. 

When Nadia first learned about Peter and Jason, she had told Jason that maybe being single wasn’t so bad. Because she thought that it was a problem that Jason could fix.

Nadia sees now that she was wrong. Now she wants Peter and Jason together again as soon as possible. She wants them to be happy.

Nadia hasn’t even seen Jason yet on her own. She found out only a few minutes before she called Peter. But it was the only thing she could think to do. He was the first person she thought to tell.

Nadia is kind of disappointed that she won’t have one-on-one time with coma-stricken Jason, but this was the right thing to do. Even before Nadia knew, she saw how Jason was with Peter. She saw how happy they both were before everything went to shit. 

Nadia nears Peter’s house, and minutes later she pulls up next to his driveway and holds her hand against the horn. Who she assumes to be Peter’s mother opens the door, about to yell at Nadia, but Peter walks up behind her and says something to her before walking to the car, eyes dulled yet so alive. 

He slides silently into the passenger seat, and Nadia doesn’t say anything to him as he gets into the car. This was a huge bomb to drop on him so suddenly. He can talk when he’s ready. 

**Peter**

Nadia looks the same as she did at graduation, which is expected because it’s only been a couple weeks. Maybe she looks a little angrier.

Nadia’s wearing a short-sleeve shirt and shorts to bear the summer heat, and Peter sees scars on her arms that he doesn’t say anything about because he knows she wouldn’t want to talk about it. 

Peter realises that he hasn’t changed out of the clothes he slept in. The shock that Jason is alive put him in a daze. Nadia stares straight at the road ahead, knowing exactly where they’re going.

“Do the others know?” Peter says finally.

Nadia cocks her head. “The others?”

“You know, Ivy and Matt and Lucas and them. The whole St. Cecilia’s gang.”

“Oh,” Nadia says. “No. I hadn’t thought to tell them.”

“Good,” Peter says to himself, but he realises Nadia must have heard him. “I mean, not, not  _ good _ , I mean—”

Nadia interrupts him with a chuckle and a smile. “No, I get it. Can you imagine? Especially Ivy.”

“I don’t know what Ivy’d do. Probably either climb all over him or ask him to pay for her hospital bills.”

“Or both,” Nadia says, and then the car falls silent again. 

Nadia rolls down a window and the wind whips her hair around, and along with the bright sun shining upon them Peter’s impressed she can still see the road.

“So when we get there, I can talk to him?” Peter says, breaking the silence.

Nadia winces. “Right. Uh, yeah, you can talk to him.”

“But?”

“Yeah. You can talk to him, but he won’t respond. He’s uh… he’s in a coma.”

Peter nods and looks out the window. He sees Nadia look at him concernedly out of the corner of his eye. 

“You okay?” she says.

“Yeah. It’s better than him being dead, so I can’t be disappointed.”

Nadia smiles and agrees. 

“So, what was that funeral then?” Peter asks, remembering one of the last times he saw the other guys from St. Cecilia. 

“I honestly don’t know. My parents must have faked it. I don’t know why, though. They’re dicks. I should have known they’d pull shit like this.” Nadia lets out a sharp, angry breath.

They finish the car ride quietly, only the sounds of the wind and the radio filling the silence.

**Jason**

Jason feels like he’s regaining his senses, slowly. He can hear more now. He still can’t see, but now he knows that it’s because his eyes are closed, not because he’s become suddenly blind. 

He hears the distant sound of a door opening and closing. Then he hears voices again. It’s clearer, but broken.

“Jason! It’s….I just heard….Mom and Dad….Can you hear….glad you’re alive….”

Jason recognises this voice. It sounds like Nadia. He wants to answer but he can’t. He can’t move his mouth.

“I brought….he’s here….outside….I told him….just know….love you, Jason.”

“I love you too, Nadia,” Jason thinks, and he wants to say it, but he can’t.

_ No voice. _

__ _ No sound. _

__ _ No words. _

Jason hears the door open and shut again, and he thinks he’s alone in the room again, but then he hears another voice.

“Jason?” The voice is gentle and caring, and Jason recognises it immediately.

_ Peter. _

“Jason… I’m sorry….I feel….I ruined….talked to Father….he’s a dick….I finally….my mom….hear me….I should have….I’m so sorry….never stopped loving you.”

Jason wished he could hear everything Peter was saying. He wished he could reach out to him and hug him and tell him it’s okay. But Jason couldn’t move. It hurt him so much. He wished he could tell Peter he loves him, too.

**Peter**

Jason looks pale, but at least he’s alive. Peter watches Jason’s slow, steady breaths, and watching Jason’s breaths turns into watching his lips and God, Peter just wants to feel those lips on his again. They used to feel so warm and safe. Jason felt like home. 

Peter walks to the door and tells Nadia he’s done talking to Jason alone, and she can come back in if she wants. They decided before they got to the hospital that they definitely both needed one-on-one with Jason, so they took turns standing in the hallway while the other spoke to him.

But now Nadia walks in and stands beside Jason’s bed, and Peter walks up next to her. They stare together at Jason’s slow-moving body, his  _ alive _ body, and Nadia touches Jason’s hand.

“We miss you, Jason,” Nadia says, and strokes her thumb over Jason’s hand.

“Yeah. And we love you. Please wake up soon,” Peter adds, putting his hand atop Nadia’s so they’re both connected to Jason. Peter’s so glad Jason’s alive. Now if only he’d wake up.

**Jason**

His favorite two people, right beside him, and he can’t reach out to them. Jason can feel their pressure on his hand, both Nadia and Peter, and all Jason wants is to hold their hands and never let go.

He tries so hard. He puts all the energy he has into moving. And into opening his eyes so he can see them. 

He feels his hand move. His fingers twitch slightly and he hopes they can tell. 

**Nadia**

Nadia is crying at Jason’s unmoving body and as she looks over, she sees so is Peter. She’s about to let go gently of Jason’s hand, but she flings her hand off violently, at the same time catapulting Peter’s off too.

“Woah. Nadia. What was that?” Peter says.

Nadia is speechless and barely find the words. “He… moved.”

“Are you sure? Maybe it was just your imagination…”

“Peter, he moved. I felt it. I swear to God he moved.”

Peter steps closer to Jason and places his hand on his face. “Jason… can you hear me?”

**Jason**

Jason can feel Peter touching him, and it hurts him so much. Jason wants to reach his hand up and cover Peter’s, interlock their fingers. The warmth of his body connecting to his own, their energies in symphony. And…

_ O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. _

Jason tries to move his hand again. He hopes it works.

**Peter**

Peter’s eyes flick to Jason’s hand as he sees it move, and he breaks down into heavy sobs. He isn’t sure why he’s crying. Perhaps he’s happy that Jason can hear him. Perhaps he’s sad that Jason can’t wake up. Perhaps it’s a mixture of many emotions. But Peter can hear Nadia sniffling behind him, too.

“We should get going. We’ve been here long enough,” Nadia says.

Peter hesitates. “Hey, um. I kind of want to stay overnight with him. Is that allowed?”

“Probably. Let’s just not tell anyone and see what happens.” Nadia sits down in a chair next to Jason’s bed.

“You’re staying too?”

“If you are, I am.”

Three people sharing a world in this room. None of them are happy. All of them are okay.

**Lucas**

The world is a deep shade of red to Lucas now that there’s blood on his hands.

He never wanted this. He wanted his friends to be safe. Now Jason’s dead and it’s Lucas’s fault.

He sold Jason the GHB. He was the one who enabled this whole thing to happen. 

The one thing Lucas doesn’t regret is telling Jason that they were still cool. Lucas didn’t care that Jason was gay, or whatever, he just cared that they were friends. 

But he lost his friend. He wasn’t even that close with Jason, but Lucas knew he was a good guy. Lucas wished he could have been closer with him.

Lucas has already talked to Nadia about Jason. She says she doesn’t blame him for his death, that he couldn’t have known, but Lucas feels like she’s too forgiving. He doesn’t deserve that. 

Lucas wants to talk to Peter. To tell him that he’s sorry. Lucas doesn’t have his number, though, so there’s no way he really can. He considered texting the other guys from St. Cecilia’s, but he doesn’t know if they have Peter’s number either. 

Lucas decides to fuck it and text them anyway.

**st cecilia’s hella awesome groupchat**

Why did no one ever add Peter to the group chat?

Lucas:  yo. anyone know peters number? 

Matt responds almost immediately.  Yeah. I’ll send it to you, gimme a sec 

He texts Lucas in a separate message.

**Matt**

Matt:  Okay it’s 555-3749

Lucas:  ok thanks

Lucas is about to type in the number and shoot Peter a text, but someone else texts him.

**st cecilia’s hella awesome groupchat**

Nadia:  Jason’s not dead. Thought you all should know. 

**Peter**

“I just texted everyone and told them Jason’s alive,” Nadia says suddenly.

Peter resists the urge to get angry.

“I see you getting annoyed, Peter. I didn’t really want to text them either. I just thought they should know.” Nadia picks idly at her nails and checks her phone periodically.

“Even Ivy?”

Nadia frowns. “I think we should be nicer to Ivy. She’s going through a lot with this whole pregnancy thing.”

“Were you not just making fun of her today with me—”

“Yeah, I know, I was. I just… I kind of feel bad. And as much as I love him, Jason did have a role to play in this whole ordeal.”

Peter considers this for a moment. “I guess you’re right.”

“I told all of them the hospital he’s at, so if any of them come in just. Be nice to them.”

Peter figures he just won’t talk to Lucas.

**Matt**

Matt needs to go to the hospital. Now. Jason’s in a coma, but he  _ needs  _ to apologize.

For so much.

**Ivy**

Jason isn’t dead. But Ivy isn’t going to the hospital to see him. She doesn’t think she can take that. 

The person she once loved. The person she might still love. Who can never love her. 

Her baby’s father. 

Ivy looks at the bump growing on her belly. Getting bigger and bigger each day. 

Ivy wants to love this child, but she doesn’t know if she can. She’d have to see Jason’s face in it and the baby isn’t even out of her body, she can’t see its face, but it already hurts her.

Ivy wishes she could go back to seventh grade. When everything was so… easy. 

**Lucas**

Lucas gets to the hospital at the same time as Matt, apparently, who now stands next to him at the front desk hoping to get into Jason’s room.

Thankfully, the receptionist lets them both in.

**Peter**

Peter’s sitting in a chair facing away from the door, so he jumps about ten feet into the air when he hears it slam open.

“Shit! Sorry,” someone says.

Peter turns around in his chair and is met with the faces of Lucas and Matt.

“Hey guys,” Matt says.

“Hey,” says Nadia.

“Hi,” says Peter.

“Yeah, hey guys,” says Lucas.

“Hey,” says Nadia.

Peter turns around and glares at Nadia, who mouths “Be nice!”

“Hey, Lucas,” Peter says reluctantly.

Lucas casts his eyes downward. Matt walks forward and stands next to Jason’s bed.

“You wanna talk to him alone?” Nadia says considerately, and when Matt nods she ushers Peter and Lucas out, then follows them herself.

The door closes and the three of them stand out in the bland white hallway lined with doors and patients and doctors and it’s all so  _ hospital _ that it’s sad.

Lucas taps Peter on the shoulder and Peter flinches.

“Can I talk to you?” Lucas says softly, and Nadia says “I’m heading to the bathroom.”

Peter doesn’t look Lucas in the face. He can’t without wanting to punch it.

“I wanna say that I’m sorry. I fucked up. And it was my fault that Jason… almost, I guess… died. It’s my fault he’s in this coma. And I hate myself for it. 

“I understand if you don’t forgive me because I don’t deserve it. I wanted my friends to be safe and I failed at that. I just wanted you to know that I’m so, so sorry.” Lucas stares at the floor but Peter looks up at him. 

“I’ve never heard you be so serious,” is the only thing Peter says.

Lucas chuckles. “Yeah. Well. I have to be.”

“I have a question,” Peter says. “You sold him the GHB. How are you not, like, in prison?”

Lucas winces. “Yeah. I almost was. I… don’t really want to talk about it.”

They’re silent for a while. Peter decides to suck it up. 

“What you did was wrong. It wasn’t okay, so I’m not gonna say ‘It’s fine, Lucas, at least he’s not  _ actually  _ dead,’ but… I do forgive you.”

Lucas lets out a breath. “I don’t deserve that. But thank you.”

Peter nods. Nadia comes back from the bathroom and rejoins them. None of them speak, but none of them have to. The silence is okay.

**Matt**

“Hey, Jason.” Matt walks over and sits next to him. “It’s uh, it’s Matt.”

Matt pauses, and then he lets it all out.

“Jason, I’m so sorry, for everything. I should have been your friend. I should have gotten to know you better. All I did was get angry at you. I was so focused on what you had and what I didn’t that I didn’t stop and see what you are. And trust me, you did make a shit ton of mistakes, but so did I, and I am so, so, so sorry. I just wish I’d have been your friend. And I hope I  _ can  _ be your friend, once you get out of this.” 

By the time Matt stops talking he’s crying, because he’s filled with so much emotion that he’s overflowing. He can’t identify everything he’s feeling but the one thing that is standing out is hope.

He hopes Jason can forgive him, he hopes Jason can be his friend, and mostly he just hopes Jason can hear him.

**Lucas**

Matt opens the door to let us all back in, and his face is red and splotchy and he’s clearly been crying. 

“You wanna talk to him now?” Matt says to Lucas, and Lucas nods.

He turns to the rest of them. “I don’t really have anything to say to him by himself, so you guys can go in if you want.”

They all go back into the hospital room and Lucas stands by Jason and everyone else sits. 

“Hey, Jason. I feel really guilty that I sold you those drugs. When you wake up, don’t even try because I’m not gonna sell you any. Or anyone or else the cops’ll be all over me.

“But like. Yeah. I kind of feel like I did this to you. That I’m the reason you’re in this coma. So. I’m sorry, bro.” 

Matt, Peter, and Nadia look at him. Lucas didn’t realise he was crying until then. “Damn. Thought I’d make it through without crying,” he says. 

“Group hug?” Peter offers. It’s followed by a chorus of “No”s and one “Hell yeah” from Lucas. 

“I should get going, actually. I didn’t tell my parents I was leaving, so they’re probably worried,” Lucas says.

“I’ll head out too. Same situation,” Matt says. 

“Bye,” Lucas says. Matt waves to them. They both walk out.

**Peter**

Peter watches them leave, then exhales when the door closes. They’re his friends, but it can be kind of suffocating when Jason’s here and Peter’s filled with worry.

“Thank God they’re gone,” Nadia says, reading Peter’s mind. “Don’t get me wrong, I love ‘em, but you know.” She gestures to Jason’s motionless body.

“Yeah. I get what you mean.” Peter relaxes into a chair. Everything’s quiet, for a minute. Then Peter speaks up again.

“I miss Jason.”

Peter knows he’s right here, laying in front of him, but Peter misses nights in their room, just being happy. He misses accidentally-on-purpose bumping into Jason in the hallways, just so that he could touch him. He misses the way Jason would wrap his arms around Peter and he would feel so content.

“Me too,” Nadia says, probably thinking about memories with Jason, too.

Peter thinks about how maybe he could have kept Jason out of this. Peter could have just stayed with him, instead of saying 

_ I tried _

__ When Jason said

_ Help me. _

Peter could have helped him. 

Peter could have stayed in the present with Jason, instead of looking to the future. He never expected their future to look like this.

Peter could have just stayed content with keeping them a secret. He could have never told Matt at the party. 

Peter could have stopped just caring about himself. He only thought about how coming out would affect himself. He didn’t think about how Jason felt. Jason said it himself, and he was right.

_ What? You found your way and now it’s all okay? Is it that simple then? Really? You’re such a fool! _

Peter was a fool. He was a fool for casting away all these opportunities to save him.

Peter could have  _ saved him. _

Peter didn’t realise how hard he was crying until he was curled up in a ball in his chair, sobbing into his knees, heaving, tears soaking his clothes.

Peter just wanted Jason to wake up.

His sobs slowed to the silent kind of crying; and his throat hurt, and his eyes were red and puffy. 

Peter didn’t know how long he cried. Too long to know. 

He was still crying when he fell asleep.

**Nadia**

Nadia wanted to comfort Peter, but she didn’t know how it would help. It hurt, though, seeing Peter cry so painfully. He seemed to whimper even in his sleep. 

Nadia didn’t know what time it was, but she was getting pretty tired too. Watching Peter fall asleep was a real soother.

Today has been a day, and Nadia was ready for it to be over.

**Jason**

Jason was waking up quickly, and he could feel it. He could hear everything clearly now.

Even Peter, crying. 

He cried so hard.

It was painful to hear, and not be able to hug him or tell him it’s okay, he was here.

If only he could tell him.

Maybe if he tried.

“Peter…”

**Nadia**

Nadia couldn’t get to sleep. It had been hours since she first tried, and last time she checked the clock (which was like, thirty minutes ago) it was two in the morning, so she ended up just stopping trying.

She turned her head to a window that looked out into a cityscape, dark, but lit up by artificial lights. 

The relaxing scene almost actually put her to sleep. But she didn’t, because Jason’s voice got her wide awake.

“Peter!” she whisper-shouted, jumping up to shake him awake. “Peter! You’d better wake up, right the fuck now, or else-”

“Nadia… wha…” Peter said, half asleep.

“He said your name. He said ‘Peter,’ Peter. He’s waking up, so you have to too.”

“What?” Peter sat up immediately, eyes wide. “He said  _ my  _ name?”

“Fuck yeah, Peter. Get the hell up.”

**Peter**

Peter pushed himself out of his chair and stood beside Jason’s bed. 

He stirred. His eyes twitched and he looked so much like Sleeping Beauty, waking from a hundred year sleep. His eyes opened, and he blinked, looking at Nadia.

“Nadia,” he said, then turned to Peter.

“Jason,” Peter said, and crashed into his body. He hugged him so tightly, and Jason wrapped his arms gently around Peter, and he said “It’s okay. I’m here.” 

Peter started sobbing again, for reasons he was unsure of, but this time Jason was here holding him.

“Twenty-four hours ago, I thought you were dead,” Peter whispered into Jason’s neck.

“I’m lucky I’m not,” Jason said. “I really missed you. I wondered if I’d ever see you again.”

Jason sounded very tired, like he could fall back asleep at any moment. But Peter knew that if he did, it would just be sleep. No more comatose Jason.

“Good to see you, Romeo,” Nadia says from behind Peter. Jason releases half of Peter so he can hug Nadia with the other arm.

“Good to see you too, Nadia.” Jason releases Nadia from their hug, but Peter still clings on to Jason, because he never wants to let him go.

Jason pulls Peter closer to him again, and Jason’s face is resting in the crook of Peter’s neck when he says “I’m sorry.”

Peter can feel Jason’s tears on his neck, and he pulls away from the hug. “For what?”

“For everything,” Jason says, his voice wet with tears.

“I forgive you,” Peter says, pulling Jason in again.

They both eventually fall asleep on the hospital bed together. Clutching to each other because they’re afraid the other will fall. 

Never again.

**Jason**

When Jason wakes up, Peter, who is still fast asleep, is flung awkwardly across his body. Jason moves him gently away, and rubs his eyes to get some of the morning daze out.

He blinks and looks around the room. There are a couple of doctors who were probably waiting for him to wake up—both from his sleep and from the coma.

They look impatient, like they want to their medical things but Peter’s still asleep and they don’t want to wake him. Nadia’s sitting in the corner of the room, looking angrily at the doctors.

“ _ What?” _ mouths Jason.

_ “I tried to get them to leave, but they wouldn’t. They’re staying here until you can do some things for them. I don’t know what,”  _ Nadia mouths back, glaring at the doctors.

Jason turns to Peter. “Hey. Hey, wake up. Don’t freak out, but there are people in here.”

Peter sits up, wrapping his arm lazily around Jason’s waist. “Wh… oh. Who…”

Jason shifts uncomfortably away from Peter’s arm. He looks hurt, but… Jason doesn’t want to do this with people around. He’s still scared… Father said he wasn’t okay...

But Jason thinks about how much he would have regretted dying, though, without being with Peter like this. Life is short. Nobody knows when theirs will end. 

So Jason shifts back towards Peter and holds his hand. Peter smiles a little and Jason’s happy he makes Peter smile.

One of the doctors clears her throat and Jason looks up at her. “When did you wake up?” she says.

“Um… just now?”

“Not from sleep,” she sighs, “from the coma?”

“Oh. Right,” Jason says, then looks at Nadia. “Did you have the time?”

“Two-thirty-ish, I think,” Nadia says, inflection making her statement sound like a question.

They continue asking Jason questions, with Jason answering boredly after each, until the doctors leave. 

“Ugh, finally,” Nadia groans once the doors close. “I thought they’d be here forever.”

“To be fair, Nadia, I was in a coma for weeks.”

“Whatever.”

Jason criss-crosses his legs on the hospital bed and turns towards Nadia. “Why didn’t you come visit me before?”

“How do you know I didn’t?”

“When I was in the coma, I could still hear, like, whispers. Of voices. And I never heard yours.”

Nadia’s eyes harden. “Well. Maybe because I never knew you were alive until yesterday.”

Jason remembers Peter saying something similar last night.  _ “Twenty-four hours ago, I thought you were dead.” _

“What? How?”

“Mom and Dad. They kind of… faked your death.”

“Faked my death?!”   
“Well… not really. They just didn’t tell anyone you were alive.”

“Fucking…” Jason trails off, leaning his head back, his hands forming fists. “Why would they do that?”

“Dunno. Haven’t asked,” Nadia says, a bit of bite in her voice. 

“You haven’t asked why they faked my death.”

“Look man, I didn’t really want to talk to them! The thought just didn’t cross my mind when I found out you weren’t dead, as I had originally thought. So excuse me for not asking.” Nadia crosses her arms and sighs.

Jason takes that as a sign that she doesn’t really want to talk anymore, so he turns to Peter. 

“Jason, I just want to say, I’m sorry for everything I did when-”

Jason shuts him up by kissing him.

_ Is that supposed to shut me up? _

__ _ Yes... _

__ _ Jerk! _

__ _ You and I, you take my hand, leaving me breathless… _

__ Peter deepens the kiss and brings his hand to rest on the back of Jason’s neck. The warmth of Peter’s hand and the touch of his lips sends Jason flying into a different dimension, one where only the two of them exist, and the rest of the world and all of its problems vanishes. 

They’re floating in space; stars twinkling, a beautiful galaxy, planets orbiting them like they’re the sun. Jason takes Peter’s free hand in his and holds it close to his chest so Peter can feel how fast his heart is beating. 

Peter sighs into Jason’s mouth and scoots closer to him on the bed so his knees are interlocked with Jason’s and their chests are almost touching. Jason wraps his hand around Peter’s waist and brings him closer-

“Get a room,” Nadia interrupts, the kiss breaking, and they both catch their breath.

“Sorry, Nadia,” Peter smiles. 

“I’m not,” Jason says, leaning in for another kiss. 

Peter laughs. “I thought you weren’t comfortable being in public. Remember the rave?”

_ It’s best kept secret... _

“Three things,” Jason says, “One, the rave was ages ago. Two, my sister isn’t that ‘public,’ and three, I  _ want  _ to be with you in public.”

Peter looks surprised. “When did that happen?”

“I don’t know,” Jason says. “Today. When the doctors came in and you tried to put your arm around my waist. I was uncomfortable at first but then I thought, well, I’d regret dying without being with you like this, and I could have. And I don’t want to have any regrets, especially not with you.”

“Jason, tell me if you ever feel uncomfortable, okay? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I… I love you, Jason. I love you so much.”

Jason kisses Peter again. “I love you too.”

__

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop me a Kudos if you made it down here, it makes me happy :))))


	2. THANK YOU

Y’all...

I just wanted to say thank you SO MUCH for reading this. It means a lot that I’m getting positive feedback on the first thing I have ever published. I seriously check back every day to see how many people have read it and even if it’s just one more person I get really happy. I appreciate every single person who has read this, even if you hated it. I don’t know if there’s gonna be any more chapters because I haven’t gotten many people saying they want it, but if you do, just let me know and I can, because I really liked writing this. But anyway. Thank you again. I love you all.

\- awkwardphoenix


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! i’m back with another chapter! i’m sorry it took so long, i’ve been kind of swamped with school, work, extracurriculars... but here it is. and thank you bareabopera on tumblr for the beta read! and i hope y’all like this chapter as much as the last! here goes!

**Peter**

“So… now that Jason’s awake—”

“Yeah… I don’t know if we should tell the other guys. Yet. We will, but Jason probably needs some time by himself,” Nadia interrupts Peter. Somehow, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

Peter thought Nadia was a witch. Just a little. She was a bit witchy.

Jason fell back asleep on his hospital bed a while ago. Peter read up a bit on comas while Jason slept, and he found that comas really take out a lot on you. Coma patients have trouble staying awake after they come out of their coma, and really, Jason should not have been able to stay awake for that long after he woke up. Jason is a miracle. Jason is Peter’s miracle.

Peter reaches over and touches Jason’s hand gently, careful not to wake him. He stirs a little and takes Peter’s hand in his before falling back asleep. Peter’s heart beats a little faster and he smiles.

“Awww,” Nadia says. “Cute.”

“He is,” Peter replies.

**Jason**

Jason’s standing in a dark hallway. He doesn’t know how he knows it’s a hallway, because he can’t see anything. It’s pitch black. But he looks up and he can see stars on the ceiling. Real stars, twinkling like they’re far away--but burning like they’re close. When he looks back down the darkness has lightened, and he can see the outlines of lockers lining the hallways and trailing into the abyss. 

It’s St. Cecilia’s, he concludes, except the hallways at the real St. Cecilia’s don’t go on forever. Usually there’s a room at the end of the hallway. There isn’t one here. 

Jason steps forward and the hallway spins. He hears a voice calling his name. He tries to go toward it, but he can’t, because the voice is coming from everywhere. It sounds like his dad.

“Jason. You’ve disappointed us.” The voice echoes and pounds into Jason’s head. He tries to push forward, because now he can see a light at the end of the hall, and it looks like Peter. He reaches for him, but Peter stands still.

“Stop,” he says, unmoving. So Jason does. 

“Why?” Jason asks.

“I don’t want you to hurt me again,” responds the light, and he disappears. 

Jason can’t stop himself from falling to his knees, and the hallway goes pitch black again, and the stars are now burning into his skin. 

He remembers the look on Peter’s face when…

_ You can’t be the same boy I followed, thought I’d always follow, _

__ _ You’ve hurt me more than you know… _

__ He doesn’t want to hurt Peter again. No, he loves Peter. Peter is his soulmate…

_ Where is the boy who said I was his soulmate? _

__ _ Where is the boy I believed? _ __

The light doesn’t return. He wonders if it was he or Peter who left.

**Nadia**

It’s pretty much the middle of the day and Nadia knows she has to go home at some point, because she hasn’t eaten at all today, but she doesn’t want to face her parents. And would her mom feed her anyway?

Nadia contemplates eating hospital food, but before she can make up her mind Jason starts twitching and moaning in his sleep. She’d ask Peter to go comfort him, but Peter left a while ago to go assure his mom that he’s not dead—Lucas picked him up to take him home. Nadia’s not sure she trusts a known druggie to drive Peter home, but she assumes a close call with jail time might have given him a little bit of common sense.

Nadia knows not to wake a person having a nightmare. And it’s probably extra-bad to wake a person having a nightmare who’s just got out of a coma. But it pretty much sucks ass to see Jason like that. 

Nadia stands from the uncomfortable chair she was sitting in (and wonders how Jason slept that long in a bed that’s probably just as uncomfortable) and walks to Jason. She nudges his shoulder gently.

“Hey. Jason. Wake up.” He doesn’t. She nudges him a bit harder. “Jason—”

“I’m sorry,” Jason breathes as he shudders awake. He sits up. His eyes dart across the room. Nadia puts her hand on his shoulder, but Jason flinches away.

“Jason, what’s wrong?” Nadia says it softly because she’s truly worried, and apparently that’s all Jason needs before he breaks down into tears.

“Woah, woah, what’s up? What was that dream about?” Nadia sits next to Jason on the bed and slings her arm around his shoulders. “Jason, stop crying. What would Dad say?”

Jason chuckles a little bit. “I’m kidding,” Nadia says. “We both know boys cry and Dad’s a dick.”

Jason sighs and wipes his eyes. “Nadia… I’m a horrible person,” he says.

“Oh, so you noticed?” Nadia quips, expecting a ‘shut up, Nadia’ or some other bite-back, but Jason says 

“Yeah”

and he buries his head in his hands.

“Wait a minute, Jason, no, I was kidding, what the hell, I didn’t mean—”

“No, I know. It’s okay,” Jason says. “The dream…” he sighs deeply and his breath shakes. “Bad” is all Jason can say as he squeezes his eyes shut and more tears flow.

“Hey, it’s okay, it was just a dream,” Nadia says in attempt to comfort him. She knows she’s bad at comforting people, though, and so she doesn’t know if she’s helping.

“Yeah, but the thing is, it  _ wasn’t  _ just a dream.”

“Jason, yes it was—”

_ “No it wasn’t!” _ Jason shouts at her, his breaths fast and hard. “Nadia, it wasn’t.”

Nadia is quiet. “Okay,” she says, finally. “Tell me.” 

“I couldn’t see—but he was light. I wanted to go to him. I couldn’t. It… it… it…” Jason stutters. Nadia remembers when they were kids he would always stutter like this when he cried.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Nadia rubs his arm a little. “Just breathe.”

He does. Deep breaths, and then continues. “It felt so real, Nadia. We were at St. Cecilia’s… but the hallway was super long and dark and I couldn’t see a thing until Peter was there… He was this bright light but I couldn’t go to him. It’s too much, Nadia, it’s too much,” he says as he compacts his body and puts his hands behind his neck and his face on his knees. It’s clear he’s hurting. Badly. 

“Do you need anything? Do you want me to call Peter?” 

“No,” Jason says. “Just stay with me.” He smiles. “You’re being so nice to me.”   
“I know. I’m a great sister. Remember this next time I need something.”

“Aw. Thanks, sis.”

**Ivy**

Ivy knows that she can’t face Jason. Not yet, anyway. But she does want to talk to Nadia. Nadia was the first person Ivy told about the pregnancy and… she’s it’s aunt.

So Ivy’s driving over to Nadia’s house, where she’s only been once, and that was because Nadia forgot her phone in their dorm room over Christmas break, and as much as Ivy  _ didn’t  _ want to deliver it to her at the time, she likes to think she’s not a completely horrible person.

Ivy does honestly think she’s changed. Ever since the pregnancy. It made her a little more mature.

_ Times have changed, they rearrange, and little girls grow up so fast. _

__ Ivy wanted to get an abortion. Her parents wouldn’t let her. She has to carry this thing to term. 

She hates it. This thing. It doesn’t feel like her own. It feels like a demon and she just wants to get rid of it.

_ Haunted, daunted, so unwanted, feel its anger in me rise. _

__ She hates it. That’s so sad. Her own child and she hates it. When will this stop?

_ Am I supposed to love this child? Is it just that simple then? Tell me how this change will happen! Tell me how and tell me when! _

__ Ivy shakes away her thoughts when she reaches Nadia’s house. 

There’s a doorbell, but she doesn’t ring it. Instead, she knocks. And she keeps knocking. The door opens and her hand falls forward.

“Oh. Hello. Mr. McConnell,” Ivy says shyly. This is Nadia’s dad. She recognises him from last time. 

“Ivy Robinson. St. Cecilia’s,” he says. “What are you doing here?”

“Is Nadia here?” Ivy asks. 

“No,” he responds simply. “I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

“Well, do you know where she is?”

He hesitates for a moment. Then he says “No.” Ivy thinks he definitely knows where she is.

“She’s at the hospital,” concludes Ivy out loud, and then turns away to leave, but--

“Where did you hear that?” says Mr. McConnell.

“She told us. Bye,” Ivy says, and then walks away fast, because Mr. McConnell’s tone of voice sounded vaguely threatening and she’s kind of scared. Also, he looked at her very disappointedly when he noticed she was in fact  _ not  _ wearing a ring and had a large bump coming along, and Ivy already had enough of that from her own parents. 

Ivy’s going home. She doesn’t want to go to the hospital, because Jason will be there with Nadia. (Also, she’ll be there in a couple months anyway.)

Mr. McConnell watches Ivy leave. Ivy waves a little, because she doesn’t know what to do. He shuts the door, and Ivy drives away.

**Peter**

“So, how is he?” Peter’s mom is making him food, probably because she feels bad for him. Peter thinks she’s being really weird. Probably because she’s being so accepting.

Of his sexuality, of his relationship with Jason, of his staying overnight at the hospital… What changed, Mom? Peter never knew of a time before now when she was so nice. 

“He’s fine. He woke up, actually,” Peter responds. Cautiously, he continues “He was being really cute.”

“That’s nice, Peter,” says his mom, and Peter doesn’t even know what to do anymore. 

“I think I’m going to go back to the hospital after I eat.”

“Okay. Have fun. Who’s picking you up?”

“Mom, what’s going on?” Peter says finally. “You’ve never been so nice to me in my life.

She turns around from the pot of mac and cheese that Peter can’t wait to eat (and he realizes that did not sound like something an eighteen year old should think).

“What? I’m a nice mom.”

“Not that you’re not!” Peter corrects himself. “Just… last week, you told me I couldn’t walk to the park by myself, and I shouldn’t leave the house so much, and I have a  _ curfew, _ Mom, and now? I stayed overnight at the hospital and you’re  _ fine,  _ I’m leaving the house  _ again  _ and you’re  _ fine, _ and I called Jason cute and you’re  _ fine! _ You wouldn’t have been able to stand any of those things but suddenly, you can!”

Peter’s mom walks over to him. “Because I’m trying, Peter.”

“What?”

“To be accepting. I’m trying. When you told me you were… you know…”

“Gay?”

“Yes,” Peter’s mom sighs, “It’s going to take me a while to completely understand. So in the meantime, I thought I’d practice. With other things. Like staying out past your curfew and leaving so much. And I guess it’s also that I feel bad about Jason. What he’s going through. I know you need to be there for him.”

Peter smiles. “Thank you. I love you, Mom. And also…”

She smiles. “Yes, Peter?”

“The water’s boiling over.”

“Crap,” she exclaims. “Darn it. It’s not ruined. It’s fine. It’s fine!”

“Smells like burning to me.”

“It’s fine, Peter!”

Even if the mac and cheese isn’t, Peter’s glad they are. 

**Nadia**

_ Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.  _

Nadia’s phone incessantly buzzes from the hospital’s bedside table. She doesn’t want to answer, because She’s still trying to comfort Jason over his nightmare, but she supposes she’ll check anyway. It could be Peter, even though he never calls.

_ Bzzt. Bzzt.  _

“Jeez, I’m coming,” Nadia says aloud, reaching over for the phone. She reads the screen.  _ Jackass,  _ it says. 

“It’s Dad,” says Nadia to Jason, and he perks up curiously. 

“Answer it,” he says, nudging Nadia. 

“Jason, he lied about your death for  _ months.  _ Why would I answer it?”

“I don’t know. I feel like we need answers. And we’ll get answers by answer _ ing. _ ” He grins.

“Dork,” Nadia says, and she clicks  _ Accept Call.  _

“Nadia,” her father says immediately. “Why did Ivy Robinson come to my door asking for you?”

“Uhhhh,” Nadia replies confidently. “Yeah, I can’t say I can answer that.”

“Put it on speaker,” Jason whispers. Nadia nods and clicks speakerphone.

“--did you even know she’s pregnant and unwed? Disgraceful! I always thought she was a good girl. I’m getting off topic. How did she know you were at the hospital? How did she find out Jason was alive? We tried to keep this under wraps, Nadia, we don’t want people to know that our son failed to kill himself! Trying is bad enough, but having to live with the fact that your own son tried to take his own life and  _ lived, _ the people  _ talk _ , Nadia, do you know what they’ll say? Our son, suicidal. It’s just so selfish. He had so much potential. It’s… It’s better this way, Nadia. No one was supposed to know. God would never approve of our son. This is wrong. We don’t even know  _ why.  _ Why did he do this, Nadia? And he was  _ friends  _ with a  _ drug dealer _ at your Catholic school. We sent you to St. Cecilia’s because we thought it would be good for you. And now? Look what’s happened!”

“Are you quite done yet, Dad?” Nadia says. 

“Don’t be disrespectful,” he responds. 

“Why the hell did you think it was any better for people to think Jason was dead rather than celebrating that he lived?” 

“Because it’s wrong, Nadia! Suicide, in the eyes of God, is wrong. You kill yourself, you go to Hell. Imagine what people would say if they knew he was alive.”

“Yeah, they’d be  _ happy  _ that he’s not going to Hell, Dad. He’s alive, so he  _ didn’t  _ kill himself. Not too difficult to understand. But maybe your brain’s not working, because everything you’ve done so far has been outrageously stupid.”

“Nadia, we deserve some respect--”

“No, you don’t!” Nadia shouts. “You deserve nothing. Do you think hiding Jason is going to get you into Heaven? Or did you forget that lying is a sin, too?”

Her father is for once, silent.

“Jason and I are eighteen, now. We can legally move out of the house. And we’re going to! Goodbye forever, Dad.” Nadia angrily hangs up and then throws her phone across the bed. 

Jason is sitting still on the bed when Nadia looks back at him. He’s staring at the air.

“I broke up with our dad,” Nadia says.. “He was being so confusing. What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell went through his head when he decided to do all of this? I don’t understand!”

“It’s over now, Nadia. It’s okay,” Jason says softly, glancing up at her.

“No, it isn’t! Did you hear the things he said about you?”

Jason nods. “Yeah.”

“It’s not fucking true, Jason. You are still an amazing person whether or  _ not _ you tried to kill yourself! Everything he said is fucking  _ wrong! _ Someone needs to just yank the stick out of Dad’s ass!” 

“Am I interrupting something?” Peter says from the doorway. “Uh. Lucas drove me. He left, though.”

Nadia softens when she sees Peter. “Oh, nothing, just me disowning my dad.”

“I don’t think it works that way,” Peter says,

“You weren’t here. It definitely does,” Jason nods. 

“I made the mistake of putting him on speaker, and he said all of these horrible things about Jason--”

“He did?” Peter says, suddenly concerned. “Are you okay?” He quickly sits next to Jason and wraps his arm around him.”   
“I’m okay,” Jason replies. “I don’t deserve you, Peter.”

“Aw, gross,” Nadia says, calming down. She sighs and lays back on the bed. “I should call Ivy,” she says.”

“Ivy?” Peter asks.

“Before Dad started his big long tangent about Jason, he told me Ivy went to my--er, the house--looking for me. So I should probably ask why.” Nadia slides her hand across her face. “I just want to sleep forever.”

“No you don’t,” Jason says. Nadia laughs.

“Sorry. I forgot.”

Jason chuckles, and then he giggles, and then he bursts out into a fit of laughter, which makes Nadia, too, and then Peter’s laughing, and none of them can stop.

And none of them want to.

**Peter**

Nadia left to go see Ivy. Peter’s not sure why they’re still at the hospital, because clearly Jason’s awake now. But maybe the doctors still need more stuff. Or Nadia and Jason want a reason to stay away from their house. Because whatever just happened is definitely  _ not  _ getting resolved anytime soon. 

Peter wants to tell Jason all about what happened with his mom, because it all went a lot better than he expected (and he got some darn good mac and cheese after his mom failed the first batch). Peter wants to tell Jason all of these things, but he looks at Jason and it kind of looks like he has something to say.

“Um. Yes?” Peter says to him, breaking Jason’s weird gaze. 

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know I was… I was just thinking about… It’s not important, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Jason stumbles over his words and Peter can clearly see that it is  _ not  _ fine and it probably  _ is  _ important. 

“Jason, come on. No more secrets. Even best-kept ones.”

Jason half-smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He sighs. “So, I had a dream last night.”

This reminds Peter of Romeo and Juliet, back at St. Cecilia’s. 

_ I dreamed a dream tonight. _

__ Queen Mab. 

When they all thought…

Peter realizes he’s zoned out. He zones back in and Jason is staring at him. 

“And?” Peter says. 

“And… I don’t really feel like talking about it because it was a  _ lot _ … but I just wanted to say I’m sorry, because it made me think. About everything I did wrong.”

“I don’t think you did anything wrong. I was at fault, too. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. I kept pushing you to tell my mom and our parents and  _ everyone _ , and it was just—”

**Jason**

  
Peter’s justifying Jason’s actions, which as we know were not okay, and Jason can’t have that so he interrupts him. “No, Peter, stop. I’m gonna be completely honest, here. I think our whole relationship then was completely toxic. And now I want to fix that, so please, let me talk.

“I think… no, I know... I left you. I thought you cut me out when I slept with Ivy, but I left you first. I know that, I understand that. And I was so pessimistic, too. I feel like I dulled your happiness, and Peter, I want you to be happy and I love to see you happy and I think I killed that, back then.”

__ _ There’s no such thing as heroes who are queer! _

“You’re so imaginative and hopeful and you deserve to be the hero of your own story.”

__ _ It’s time to wake up, Peter, put away the fairytales. _

“Our story. I’m the— the damsel in distress! And you, the hero, saved me. It’s cheesy but I want this, with you. I want us to live a dream. I want us to have a happy ending. You deserve it, Peter.”

Jason takes both of Peter’s hands in his and squeezes them. 

_ Once upon a time, all I needed was his hand in mine. _

“I love you, Peter. I don’t know if I ever said it back at St. Cecilia’s, and I know I said it after I woke up from the coma, but I want you to know I mean it. I love you, I love you, I love—”

Jason’s interrupted by Peter crashing into him like the rising tide on a beach, and he falls back onto the hospital bed and Peter’s above him, kissing him, and it’s perfect. Jason flutters his eyes closed and reaches his hands to Peter’s neck, running his hands through his hair, and it’s perfect. He feels Peter’s lips on his, warm and soft and just… perfect. 

And they kiss with fervor and passion, but also gently and sweetly, and Jason never knew what living really felt like until he was with Peter, he realizes. And he thinks back to what his dad thought, and what Father Flynn thought, and he knows that they were both incredibly wrong. How could God think this was wrong when here, now, it felt so undeniably right?

**Ivy**

“Hey. Come in, I guess,” Ivy says when Nadia arrives at her front door. Things still feel a little awkward between them. Nothing really ended well at St. Cecilia’s, and Ivy knows they were both pretty mean to each other. Things change, though. Clearly. 

Ivy leads her into the living room and they sit, and Nadia honestly looks way more comfortable than Ivy feels. But Nadia’s always been kind of… nonchalant about pretty much everything. 

“So, why did you try to come see me?” Nadia asks. She’s quick to the point. Ivy hesitates before answering.

“Honestly… I don’t really know. I guess I thought maybe… I could just talk to you. You know, because you were the first person I told about being pregnant. And you’re its aunt.”

“‘Its’?” Nadia says. “The baby’s an ‘it’? Wow, congratulations.”

“Nadia, I don’t want to know the fucking gender. It’s a little angry ball of flesh and I hate it. Knowing the gender won’t change anything.”

“Sheesh, okay,” Nadia says. Ivy appreciates the ‘trying to lighten the mood with humor’ thing that Nadia does, but this is serious.

“Listen, Nadia… I don’t know what to do. I’ve barely been getting by with all of the medical bills, and everything is just so stressful, and… Wait, hold on, I haven’t even asked you how Jason’s doing,” Ivy interrupts herself. 

Nadia pauses. “Oh, uh. He’s doing fine. He… yeah.” 

Something’s up and Ivy knows it, because of all the years they stayed together at St. Cecilia’s, Nadia’s never been great at lying. “What happened, Nadia?”

Nadia glances at the ground. At first, Ivy thinks something bad happened to Jason, which rattles her more than she thought it would. “Is he okay? Nadia, come on.”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Nadia says, “He just… he… well, he woke up.”

Ivy’s eyes widen and her heart stops. “He what? Do the others know?”

“No… just me and Peter. We were both there.”

“Is he doing fine now? Coma patients have to be in care after they wake up. You know that, right? They’re at the hospital?”

Nadia grins. “Yeah, Peter and Jason are there. You know, ironically, you’d make a good nurse.”

Ivy smiles a bit. Contrary to the cast list, she’d never make a good Juliet. Maybe Nadia would. She wouldn’t be able to pull off the purity at the beginning, though. 

“Hey, do you wanna go see him? I can drive you-”

“No.” Ivy cut in coldly. 

“Woah, okay. Why, then?”

“Huh, I wonder, maybe it’s because he fucking  _ impregnated _ me and then left? Not to mention he’s  _ gay _ -”

“What does being gay have to do with anything?”

“He fucked me, and he  _ knew _ he was gay, he  _ knew _ !”

“He fucked you because he wanted to change himself! Don’t you find that sad?”   
“Of course I do, but that doesn’t change the fact I have part of him growing inside me!”

“That should make you want to see him  _ more! _ Do you want to have this shit unresolved forever and then have to raise your child and see his face every day?”   
“Don’t you think I’ve thought about that? Don’t you think I think about that  _ every fucking day _ , Nadia? And I can’t give it up for adoption because my parents say I have to ‘live with the consequences.’ This isn’t my fault. I didn’t  _ choose _ to get pregnant.”

Nadia sighs. “To be honest, I don’t think he wants to see you either, and clearly things might blow up, so contrary to what I’ve been pushing you, I don’t want you to see him. But I just think maybe things might be better if you just at  _ least  _ talk to him.”

Ivy leans her head back on the couch. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk to him. I’ll call him, but I don’t want to see him. Baby steps, Nadia. Maybe one day.”

“Okay. Good.” Nadia gestures a  _ go on _ motion.

“What? Now? Can’t I do this alone?”

Ivy can tell Nadia wants to argue, but she doesn’t. “Okay. I will go, I guess, then. Got a zombie brother to get back to.” She stands and turns to walk away but then Ivy thinks. 

Ivy isn’t really friends with Nadia, and she knows that. But she sees that Nadia is trying to help her, and she appreciates that. So maybe they  _ could  _ be friends. “Hey, wait. Um… do you wanna stay for a bit? I don’t know, watch a movie and have snacks?”

“That actually sounds pretty cool. I haven’t hung out with friends in a long time.” Nadia smiles. She sits back down next to Ivy. “And, by the way—Back at St. Cecilia’s, I always ridiculed you for being a slut.”

“Oh, no, Nadia, I was—”

“No, don’t interrupt me! Because as I was saying, I would be willing to babysit as much as you want when you finally squeeze out this baby, so you can slut it up! Live your life, Ivy! Be a slut! You’re young!”

Ivy’s eyes widen as Nadia puts her hand on her shoulder.

“You deserve to be a hoe.”

“Thank you,” Ivy says seriously. And she keeps it up for about 2 seconds before they both burst into laughter.

Ivy then realizes Nadia said the word  _ friends _ in reference to the two of them. Which hasn’t really happened, or not for a long time, anyway. But she’s glad it’s happening now. She could use a friend.

———

**Jason**

One would think that just a few days after waking up from a coma would be the worst days of your life. But on the contrary, Jason feels great. He has his sister, his boyfriend, and is pretty far away from his parents--which is all he could ask for. 

Well… another thing would be to get out of this damn hospital. They’ve been giving him physical therapy to help him get situated with life after months in a coma. It’s really helping. Jason can act like a normal human person now, but they still won’t let him out.

“Ughhh.” Jason slams his head against the wall. Gently, though, as not to worry Peter, who immediately looks up from a book he’s reading.

“What happened?”

“I’m trying to put myself into another coma. Because I can’t last much more of being conscious in this hospital.”

Peter stands from the chair he was sitting in and wraps himself around Jason. “Don’t do that. I couldn’t kiss you, then.”

“Peter, you absolutely could. That’s in like, every classic fairytale.”

“Okay, yeah, but been there, done that, I already woke you up.”

“You’d be double the heroic prince.”

“Is it not enough to be a heroic prince just once?”

Jason pecks Peter on the lips. “Of course it is.”

Peter grins at him and rests his head on Jason’s shoulder. This is everything Jason could have ever dreamed of.

(Well. Getting out of this hospital would be a plus.)

Nadia walks into the room holding three coffees and a croissant from the Starbucks across the street.

“Okay, for you, Peter, an iced white chocolate mocha, as per your request. A black coffee for you, Jason, because you’re disgusting.”

“Thanks, Nadia,” Jason says. 

“And for me, a caramel macchiato. And this croissant, which I’m not sharing with any of you, because there’s only room for one fatass in this hospital.”

One of the nurses then walks into the room, and Jason assumes he’s here to take him to physical therapy, but instead he says

“We’re getting ready to discharge you tomorrow. You’re doing much better than most coma patients do, recovering at such a fast rate, so we can discharge you sooner. We’re going to contact your family-”

“Please don’t,” Nadia interrupts.

“It’s procedure, miss. We have to.”

Nadia reaches into her pockets and pulls out some money. “Would a few… George Washingtons change your mind?”

The nurse blinks. “Um. No. I wouldn’t accept a bribe, and especially not if you’re bribing me a couple dollars.”

“Damn it. I tried, guys.”

“What time am I getting discharged tomorrow?” Jason asks. 

“Nine AM.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

The nurse leaves and Jason flops onto the hospital bed. “Thank God, I’ll finally be away from this piece of shit mattress. Or whatever it is.”

“He’s gonna call our parents, Jason.”

“Do you think they’ll care? I have no doubt in my mind that Dad’s not gonna give a shit, and Mom might but Dad doesn’t let her do anything and I’m pretty sure she’s scared of him. So I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

Nadia sighs. “I guess you’re right. But we gotta find somewhere to go.”

“You guys really aren’t going back to your house?” Peter says. “I thought this was just gonna be a regular parent-child fight.”

“No way, man. We can’t. And it definitely was  _ not  _ regular,” Jason answers. 

“Maybe you guys can come to my house,” Peter suggests casually.

“Woah. Do you think your mom will let you? It’s not really normal to have your boyfriend and his sister staying in your house,” Nadia says.

“Well, she’s trying to be more ‘accepting’, so maybe we just… take advantage of that.” Peter nods at them in a way that says  _ So? What do you think? _

__ “That sounds awesome. Think you can call her now?”

“Um… maybe we just don’t tell her until then.”

“So, you’re suggesting we arrive at your house and _then_ tell her we’re staying over there,” Jason raises his eyebrows. 

“Well, if we do that, she can’t really say no, can she? And she goes out with my nana sometimes, and she works, so it’s not like she’ll be around  _ all  _ the time.”

Nadia smiles. “Damn. You’ve got this figured out.”

“Well, I don’t want you guys living on the streets.” Peter claps his hands. “So, are we all in?”

“Hell yeah!” Jason says, high fiving both of them. “God, I cannot wait for tomorrow.”

**Ivy**

She told Nadia she’d call him, but she hasn’t yet. It’s been days. And Nadia’s been texting her to get on with it and she knows she should but it’s just hard. It would be for anyone, she thinks. 

Ivy’s ready today, though. She won’t chicken out this time. (Or at least she hopes.)

What’s Jason doing now, she wonders. Maybe he’s with Nadia and Jason in the hospital. 

**Jason**

He’s about to leave. He’s really about to leave. He’s been stuck in this hellhole for months now and now he can finally  _ leave. _

Peter, Nadia, and himself spent the last night not sleeping, but instead freaking out about going home. Nadia’s car has been parked outside the hospital for a very long time and Jason is honestly surprised it hasn’t been towed, or something. But now it’s almost 9am, and they’re all ready (like they’ve been for days now) and finally Jason’s getting discharged.

The nurse comes in and tells them it’s okay to leave, and they check out at the front desk. Then they walk out of the hospital and it feels like freedom, finally.

“Fresh air! Sunlight! Wow, who knew how good being outside could feel!” Jason takes a deep breath. “Ah, the smell of air pollution.”

They all load into Nadia’s car, and nobody sits in the passenger seat because Nadia drives while Jason and Peter cuddle in the backseat. 

“Behave yourselves back there,” Nadia warns.

“It’s so hard to, though,” Peter whines.

“You know what else is hard,” Jason whispers to Peter.

“Jason, I heard that, and frankly, I’m disgusted,” says Nadia from the front seat. “I’m going to turn up my music really loud so I can’t hear you.”

“But Nadia, your music sucks!” Jason complains.

“Deal with it!” Nadia says as she turns up her 2000s rock music. 

Jason wants to complain, but honestly, he’s too happy that he’s out of the hospital. So he dances in the car seat and sings along to Green Day. 

Soon, they’re all rocking out and Nadia’s speeding which is clearly freaking Peter out, but Jason can tell he’s trying to relax and have fun and that’s really cute, Jason thinks. He takes Peters hands in his and dances with him. Peter smiles and kisses Jason’s hands. 

“Aw, my prince!” Jason says, kissing Peter’s cheek.

“You guys are so cute it’s gross,” Nadia shouts over the music.

“Thank you!” Peter shouts back.

Jason can barely hear his phone ringing.

**Ivy**

Ivy almost thinks Jason’s going to screen her call, because he waits until like, the very last ring to answer.

“Uh, hi,” she can hear him say, but just barely, because for some reason there’s music blasting. They can’t be in the hospital. So where are they?

“Hey, can you turn it down?” Ivy hears him shout. “It’s Ivy!”

The music immediately stops.

“I said turn it down, not turn it off, but that’s fine too I guess,” he mumbles. “Okay. Hey, Ivy. What’s up?”

Seems she called him at the right time, because he seems to be in a really good mood. Ivy feels bad that she’s probably about to ruin that. 

“Hey,” Ivy says softly. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh. ‘Bout what?”

“I don’t know. ‘Bout the baby.”

The other line is silent and she wonders if he hung up, but then he says “Oh. Right. Uh. How… how are you doing?”

He seems really awkward, but he kind of deserves that, Ivy thinks. “I’m… I’m pretty pregnant,” Ivy says with a small chuckle. “I’m… uh… yeah, so I didn’t get an abortion, or anything. And the baby’s healthy, so far, but I wanted to ask you. I know you just woke up and you need some time to get back on your feet, but do you think… when you’re ready, I guess… you can help me? With the baby, with the medical bills and stuff?”

“Yeah, Ivy, of course. I’m not just going to leave you in the dark. And I’m sorry. For everything. I’m the one who was in the wrong, for all of it. So… yeah.”

Ivy sighs. “Thank you.”

They hang up. It’s still awkward between them, but now it kind of feels like a huge weight has been lifted off Ivy’s shoulders. 

**Peter**

Peter decided to back out of the whole ‘don’t tell my mom until we arrive’ thing, and it went surprisingly well. He texted her a while ago with a ‘hey, mom, can they stay at our house for a while’ and she was like ‘sure’ which was kind of expected but also not really? But Peter was really thankful anyway. 

He also texted Matt and Lucas to tell them that Jason woke up. Enough time had passed. He probably should have texted them a while ago, but he kind of… forgot. 

They turn down onto Peter’s street. Peter realizes he never actually told Nadia where he lives, but there’s probably some kind of school directory for that, from St. Cecilia’s. Or something. 

He thinks there must be some sort of party that his neighbors are having. Because there are cars up and down the street. Then, he realizes they’re parked at his house. 

“Uh. What’s going on?” Nadia says.

There are balloons in front of his house. And there’s a banner. That two people are holding. They drive closer. 

He can make out the banner. “Welcome Home Jason.” Except the ‘Home’ is crossed out and written instead is ‘To Peter’s House.’ 

They drive closer, and he can make out the people’s faces. Matt and Lucas, holding the banner. And on the lawn, holding balloons--Diane, Tanya, Kyra, Rory, Zach, Alan--basically, their entire class. 

“Peter, what’s going on?” Nadia says.

“I don’t know, I told Matt and Lucas that Jason woke up--they must have told everyone.”

They park, very far away from the house because everyone else’s cars are taking up the street, and as Peter gets out of the car he hears Evanescence’s Bring Me to Life blasting from a speaker, and there is no doubt in his mind that it’s Lucas’s bluetooth speaker. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jason says. 

“Actually, it’s Lucas, but I can see why you’d mistake us,” Lucas responds, even though Jason wasn’t talking to him. “So… did you hear us? When we came to the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Jason says. “And uh… thanks for coming.” He turns to Matt. “You too.” 

Matt gives him an awkward thumbs up, and nearly drops the banner. 

“So--what did you tell everyone? That Jason didn’t actually die?” Peter asks. “They must think he’s risen from the dead.”

“We actually sent out a group email to everyone explaining the whole situation,” Lucas replies.

“By ‘we,’ he means  _ I _ sent out a group email explaining the whole situation,” Matt corrects. 

“Okay, sure, but that still can’t have been very explanatory. You can’t just send out an email saying ‘hey guys so you know that popular kid who died? Actually, he didn’t.’”

“That’s basically what you did to us, though, right? And anyway, I think we’re all just happy that he’s alive,” Matt says. “Sorry about the music, too. I told Lucas not to, but…”

Lucas is grinning, looking like he regrets absolutely nothing. “You’re lucky Matt managed to convince me out of freestyle rapping.”

“Yeah, that would definitely have been worse,” Peter laughs. “I don’t want to be rude, but Jason  _ just _ got out of the hospital and we kind of want some peace and quiet. So do you think you could-”

“Say no more, friend,” Lucas interrupts. “We are out.” He pumps his bluetooth speaker into the air, and like some sort of trickster god, all of the others follow him out. They load into their cars and leave. 

Jason slings his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “Well, that was interesting. I actually managed to catch up with some people, though. But let’s go inside now.”

“Are you sure you’re not mad that I told them you were coming here?”

“No, that was cool. Good to know I’m cared about.”

They can still hear Lucas’s music as they walk into Peter’s house. 

**Jason**

They got settled in, Peter’s mom made them food which was surprisingly good considering how much Peter complains about his mom’s cooking, and Jason was laying on the guest bed with Nadia. Peter was--obviously--staying in his own room, but his mom wouldn’t let Jason room with him. He figured he’d just sneak into Peter’s room later, anyway. 

Or maybe not that later, because Nadia was already asleep and it was midnight. So Jason rolls quietly out of the bed and sneaks out into the hallway. He’s surprised when he sees Peter’s sitting at the top of the steps.

“Hey, what’re you doing out here?” Jason whispers, sitting next to him. 

“Figured you’d go looking for me pretty soon anyway.” Peter smiles, and Jason can’t resist kissing him for a couple seconds. 

“Wanna go outside and look at the stars?” Peter suggests. Jason nods in response and they head outside. Jason takes Peter’s hand and says “I have an idea.”

Peter looks like he already hates the idea, even though he hasn’t heard it, which Jason thinks is pretty unfair. “Let’s go lay in the street. Like in those movies.”

“Jason, that’s dangerous! You already almost died. We don’t need that again.”

“Come on, it’ll be so fun! Live a little, Peter! It’s the middle of the night, nobody’s going to be driving down the street in your little suburban neighborhood, anyway.”

Peter groans but lets himself be dragged to the street. Jason lays down and reaches for Peter to lay next to him. Peter doesn’t.

“Aw, come on!” Jason tugs on Peter’s hand a little.

Peter reluctantly lays down next to him. He’s stiff for a while, but eventually, he relaxes next to Jason’s body and moves a little closer. Jason wraps his arm around Peter. It feels meant to be. 

Peter rolls over onto his side to face Jason. “I love you.”

Jason does the same and faces Peter. “I love you, too.” He brings his hand to Peter’s cheek and kisses him. And this feels like a fairytale. They pull apart. Jason looks up at the stars and they’re bright and beautiful and Jason turns back and he can see them in Peter’s eyes. 

They kiss again, and to Jason, this feels like happily ever after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment! tell me what you thought! i loveeee getting responses :)))

**Author's Note:**

> drop me a Kudos if you made it down here, it makes me happy :)))))


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